Verse 1

What d’ya know I’ve got my bachelor’s degree,

Call it what you want but it’s still a B.S. to me.

I studied slow and I partied fast, I did my best sleeping during class,

What d’ya know I’ve got my bachelor’s degree.

Verse 2

Don’t look now but I’ve got my M.B.A.,

I didn’t learn much but I sure as hell dress okay.

Mission statements and conference rooms, action items for the Dilbert cartoons,

Don’t look now but I’ve got my M.B.A.

Chorus

Oh academia, what would we do without it?

Soaking up those words from way on high.

Synapses overload, well there ain’t no doubt about it,

And the debt stays with you ‘til the day you die.

Solo over Verse

Verse 3

You better all rise I got my law degree,

I learned that the golden word’s spelled S.U.E.

You don’t need a good reason to sue, about any idea will do,

You better all rise I got my law degree

Repeat Chorus

Verse 4

What d’ya know I’ve got my Ph.D.,

There ain’t know one now that’s half as smart as me.

I can publish in the royal proceedings, and be an ass at the faculty meetings,

What d’ya know, I’ve got my Ph.D.

Verse 1

Model trains and wiffle ball games, three to a side.

April rains, it comes again, and dandelions in the spring time.

Corn’s already past knee high,

isn’t even the fourth of July in my dreams.

Verse 2

Berry trees and hide and seek, please be home by nine.

Quiet walks and neighbors talk, and heat lightning in the sky.

Grasshopper comes along,

says that summer will soon be gone in my dreams.

Chorus

In my dreams, seasons still change.

In my dreams, I’m not to blame.

Solo over Verse

Verse 3

Summer fades to Labor Day, come to the World’s Fair.

A Ferris wheel on a baseball field, a cold chill in the air.

Balin’ hay while the days grow short,

Indian summer comes from the north in my dreams.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 1

Popeye was a sailor man, wore a sailor’s hat, ate spinach from a can.

Smoked tobacco from a corncob pipe.

He never knew a love so true ‘til Olive Oyl came into view.

He said I’m gonna have her for my wife.

Verse 2

Olive Oyl she had no charm, she had skinny legs and skinny arms.

A little from the left side of right.

She saw Popeye on a distant pier, thought he looked a little weird,

But then again it might have been the light.

Chorus

Popeye said “what is your sign I got five dollars to make you mine,

And we could sail unto the ocean blue.”

Olive Oyl said “I’m a Capricorn and I’ve been that way since I was born,

And I don’t mind a little boat ride with you.”

Verse 3

Little did Popeye know, but Olive had another beau,

Big and burly like a grizzly bear.

Bluto picked Olive up by the curl, said “come with me ‘cause you’re my girl,

You ain’t got nothing that I cannot spare.”

Repeat Chorus

Solo over Verse

Verse 4

Olive said “Bluto you’re a bigshot man, but you don’t each spinach from a can,

And Popeye can beat the living tar out of you.”

Popeye gulped his spinach down, spun his arms and with a bound,

Beat that Bluto bigshot black and blue.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 1

I was driving towards Houston, TX on Interstate 45, when I passed a big construction site and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

There just south of Huntsville, exit 112 or so, was a base with feet and knees and such up on two I-beam poles.

Seems Huntsville’s city fathers had given their consent, of build a statue of Sam Houston as a lasting monument.

Yeah the Raven was a hero, the city so ordained, not to mention mega tourist bucks out there to be gained.

Chorus

So hey, Bubba Ray and Joe Bob, y’all better get down here real quick.

Drive those pickup trucks to Huntsville,  cause they’re fixin’ to put Sammy on a stick.

Verse 2

About a week or so later, I drove by there again, and Sammy’s legs and vest and torso had all been placed in.

Construction had been surprisingly swift but there was no room to brag, when that Texas ingenuity caused Sammy’s knees to sag.

Within another week or two that problem was rectified, then they put his head on and his cane there by his side.

The thing was nearly finished, it was 64 feet tall, it was Texas proud and mighty, though it’s head was kind of small.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

The story should be over, except for a perverted turn, when the front page of the Item gave me reason for concern.

Yeah the headline read “The Erection of Sam Houston is nearly Complete,” and since he’d been dead for many years, I had to see that feat.

So I drove out there yesterday and my jaw dropped as I watched, sure enough there were six Texas cowboys working on Sammy’s crotch.

They were up on scaffold, welding on his private parts, and though he never changed expression you knew it had to smart.

Judging by the size and girth they’ll finish around December, then people will come to Huntsville to see Sammy and his member.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 1

So you think you’ve caught the big one, a keeper you might say.

Well I hate to tell you darling, but your big one got away.

Verse 2

Yeah he swam right to your dock and, you feed him every day.

I don’t know how you could have missed him, but you let him get away.

Chorus

Cause I’m a big fish in a small condo, in upper west El Segundo.

I’m a big kahuna drive an El Dorado, yeah you might say,

I’m the grand Pescado.

Verse 3

You didn’t need to use the stink bait, you didn’t need a stronger line.

All you needed was some moonlight, and for once to take your time.

Repeat Chorus

Solo over Verse

Verse 4

So the next time you go fishing, pay attention to the signs.

And if you feel a little tugging, the big one’s on your line.

Repeat Chorus 2x

Verse 1

Paint your paintings and hang ‘em on the wall, open your heart for us to view.

Stay your passion, don’t ever let ‘em stall, and show your kids what they can do.

Chorus

So many questions go unanswered, so many things you want to do.

So many hopes and aspirations, so many dreams to make come true.

Verse 2

Write your words and sing ‘em in a song, sing out for the world to hear.

For in your heart, that’s where your dreams belong, and for those you hold so dear.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

Raise your children and cherish every day, a lullaby at night to sleep.

For it won’t last, they’ll soon go their own way, cause babies they don’t keep.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 1

Time for sleeping, my little girl,

Soon you’ll be dreaming in your own world.

Close your eyes now, my little girl.

Dream the whole night through, I’ll be right here for you.

Verse 2

The rain is falling, my pretty one,

A storm is calling, gone is the sun.

The night can’t hurt you, my pretty one.

No need for you to hide, not while I’m by your side.

Chorus

Cause I’m your daddy, and here’s my pledge to you.

I’ll take care of all your fears, cause that’s what daddy’s do.

Verse 3

Are you frightened, my little dear,

Scared of the lightning and thunder you hear.

Just hold me tighter, my little dear,

Until the sky is blue, I’ll be right here for you.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

Still is the night now, my little girl,

The stars are bright now, they shine like pearls.

Sweet dreams await you, my little girl,

Dreams that’ll let you know, I’ll never let you go.

Instrumental

Verse 1

The day starts quietly, then helicopters hover ‘round,  it shouldn’t happen, not really here in our hometown.

Don’t cry, there’s no reason for to cry,

Oh why, he probably deserved to die.

They sigh, another eye for an eye.

Verse 2

P.M. to A.M., the time is growing very short, and his life will end soon, just like the one he took before.

Don’t cry, he tells his momma not to cry,

Oh why, why does her son have to die.

And right, does this make everything all right?

Chorus

And the man with the candle, he holds a candle by the Walls,

And the church next to the prison, it doesn’t bother them at all.

And the crowd cheers after midnight, when the warden has returned,

And the man with the candle, he wonders what we have learned.

Descant

Look through the eyes, of the man with the candle,

Is it really you that he sees?

Look through the eyes, of the man with the candle.

Verse 3

They sit there quietly, no knowing quite just what to do, they’re told retribution, watch the killer pay his dues.

They can’t cry, there’s no more tears to cry,

Oh why, why did their child have to die?

And tonight, will never give ‘em back its life.

Repeat Chorus/Descant

Verse 4

Life has left him, and Captain Byrd will add his name, and the people leave quietly, their lives have forever changed.

Some cried, for different reasons some did cry,

Oh why, does anyone have to die,

And the light, is the answer in tomorrow’s light?

Repeat Chorus/Descant

Verse 1

I went to the place, that I used to call my home,

To see the people, who were special in my heart.

I saw faces unknown, faces miles apart.

Verse 2

I went to the place, where we all used to play,

Smiled a sad smile as I looked around to see,

I was alone that day, no one there but me.

Chorus

Things always change, I don’t know why.

I’ll be back again, think I’ve realized,

That I’ll have to learn, learn how to say goodbye.

Verse 3

I saw my best friend, talked with his new wife.

The kids are okay, the job’s as good as it can be.

He seemed content with his life, it didn’t seem right to me.

Repeat Chorus

Solo over Verse

Repeat Verse 1

Repeat Chorus

Verse 1

I never thought, that I’d miss Texas,

And I still don’t think I do,

But what I miss are friends as real as,

The sun is bright and the sky is blue.

Chorus

Texas friends won’t you sing to me,

and take me back to how it used to be,

My life’s okay, just there’s no harmony,

Texas friends won’t you sing to me.

Verse 2

A banana moon in the sky tonight,

My son’s always seeing something new.

But I can’t help but wonder as we drive,

If my southern friends can see it too.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

I’m up north now, I’m in the city,

The songs are cold and few and far between.

While city life, it seems to suit me,

I still hear those songs from Bethy Creek.

Repeat Chorus

Repeat Verse 1

Repeat Chorus

Solo over Verse (3x)

Outro